by Leo Wiles
20 December 2013
Does the idea of Christmas with the family fill you with dread – because you know you’ll be bailed up by at least one well-meaning relative querying your choice to ditch full time employment for a rollercoaster freelance career?
We get it. Times like this, you start seriously contemplating stuffing the turkey with their head. But you’ll always come across people who don’t understand the freelance world or think you’re nuts for leaving the ‘security’ of full-time work (if you have), but as we know from our pay rates survey, many freelancers would rather have the freedom to seek out different income streams rather than box themselves into a full-time job that may not be as secure as it looks.
So, read our guide on how to stand by your choice to be freelance in a way that won’t call for family therapy come the new year.
1. Think before you speak. Remember they love you, and want the best for you even if it meant they secretly or not so secretly wanted you to be a top athlete, brain surgeon etc.
2. Don’t engage With relatives you only see at festive times, you can smile and unapologetically say, ‘I’m sorry you feel that way’ before downing your drink and motion that you need a top up.
3. Change the subject. Ask about their cat, bunions or their own black sheep of the family, or if you’re a nicer person than me steer the conversation back to small talk. You don’t need to justify your decision to anyone.
4. Be blunt. If they’re still pushing for you to be the next Citizen Kane simply ask what it is that bothers them so much about your career choice, and why.
5. Be loud and proud. You’re doing a job you love passionately – and isn’t that what Aunt Maude / mum / whoever’s badering you always wanted you to find in a career?
6. Explain your point of view If it’s a parent, remind them that wanting something different from them doesn’t mean your career choice is wrong. It just means that they did a great job raising you to be a confident person, able to pursue a vocation that makes you happy to get out of bed in the morning (even if it is mid morning).
7. Realise it may not be about you. Your family member may simply be mad that they have to front up to a traditional job at 9am every day, dress a certain way, follow rules and deal with a boss 9-5. Bagging your freelance lifestyle may be more about their own misery.
8. Dress as an elf. It’ll throw them, and even more so if you refuse to discuss anything about your life apart from your daily activities at the North Pole.
9. If all else fails… Use the flambé Christmas pudding as a smokescreen to beat a hasty retreat. You don’t need to explain to anyone why you won’t be at the Boxing Day BBQ.
Have you got an excuse ready for rellos who bang on incessantly about how freelancing ‘isn’t a real job’? Please give it up in the comments. And, Merry Xmas everyone!
Ohhh now this is essential reading! I was just thinking about how I would cope with these very questions, which come at all times of the year, but manifest mostly at family Christmas gatherings. I’ve tried many approaches, and like the ‘be blunt’ approach of owning my life and career choices. However, I usually find that hanging in the backyard with the family dog works best. Pets don’t judge!
Hang in their Jo. Pat the pooch and remember every dog has it’s day. Most of all though if you’re loud and proud about doing what you love for work most of the family will take their cue from your upbeat take on living a fulfilled life.
LOL, I still have family asking when will I get a ‘real’ job even though I chose to freelance 25 years ago!
The temptation to skip Xmas in favour of Fiji must be high 🙂