by Leo Wiles
16 November 2016
Should I take on my friend’s project or is it a bad idea from the get-go? Helen
Helen, I really struggle with this one too. It can be one of the most satisfying or soul-destroying, friendship-ending experiences – unless you’re both on the same page.
For example, last week I had a scheduled meeting with a graphic designer gal pal at her home office, to discuss some re-branding ideas. I’d carved out two hours in what was a completely flat out week to go hammer and tongs on the project, only to find the TV blaring as her youngest free-ranged.
Now, as someone who has juggled the dream of working at home with small children, I get the chaos-work-kid trifecta better than anyone. What really tipped me over the work-friend edge, though, was the fact she was openly hung-over – AND, when her friends dropped by she turned our meeting into a social occasion. I realized that clearly she didn’t see me as a client, despite the fact that I’m paying her.
Maybe it’s because, like a cheap date, I said yes too quickly when she offered to do the gig. Or, perhaps all those play dates at the park and car-pooling for rugby or swim squad have led to a familiarity that defines our relationship – no matter if it’s work or social.
While I have since managed to find someone else to do the job (and made a ton of excuses for doing so to preserve the friendship, etc), in a nutshell I believe that being hired or hiring a friend does not give you a free pass to deliver shoddy work or assume a lackluster attitude.
I don’t know about you, Helen, but I like to think that – bosom buddy or not – if you’re paying me, I’m turning up with my game plan and not yawning on the sidelines. Last night, for example, as I dined with my parents and the children ate their pudding, a text came through from a girlfriend saying her talented sculptor husband had landed an exhibition and that they needed some images pronto.
No problem, I replied. It sounded like fun and was something I would fit into one evening. Drinking my coffee, I put it out of my mind. That is, until I arrived home with very tired children ready for bed, to find said husband with five very technically-challenging pieces to shoot waiting on the verandah. This morning, having spent 8 hours on the job and knowing it still requires another 5 hours’ of work, I had to shelve all other projects to fit into their deadline (and I’m being paid mates rates for pulling the all-nighter).
I guess for me, that’s where it becomes really tricky. I’m not great talking about money anyway, and clearly, I have a few issues with boundaries! Also, because I really like this couple, we have an I’ll-scratch-your-back-you-scratch-mine kind of arrangement – and I have the technical know-how and the gear. They also give me a lot of artistic freedom (a blessing after years of delivering on-brief jobs with no creativity input), and it’s helping me make in-roads into the jewellery and precious stones market – an incredibly hard genre to crack. I also did postpone a shoot she wanted earlier this year due to taking on high-paying work and she waited for me – so maybe it is swings and roundabouts.
The real downside, however, is that at no point do I really feel like we’re forging a professional relationship. Probably my fault as much as theirs. We haven’t talked about our work style, where we’ll be compatible and what may be problematic. And that’s just for starters. I do think pals considering working together will already know the potential areas for conflict, so it’s a good idea to workshop them now before you get to the point of no return.
Do you think it’s a bad idea to work with friends? Or have you made these types of collaborations work?
Very interesting one!
Personally, as many of you know, I work with friends all the time. Leo for starters; we have a long-standing friendship and professional relationship. My designer, Justine Ramsay, who designed this site, is working on our new custom build and has designed pretty much all my other sites, is also one of my best friends dating back to primary school. And I often do work for other journo mates who have too much of it and need assistance.
Does it get hairy? Sure. I definitely think it’s a different working relationship and there’s a lot more give and take – and honesty! If one of us has a deadline, often that can mean the friend’s work is put on the back burner. I work around this by working very far in advance if possible and trying to compromise as much as possible. Because at the end of the day, I love working with people I love and trust as friends as well as colleagues!
I would never say don’t work for friends, but as Leo points out – there has to be a level of professionalism and boundaries on both sides, otherwise it won’t work and you’ll end up feeling very resentful. And the friendship can really suffer. If in doubt AT ALL, or you feel it is not going to work for various reasons, don’t do it. Far better to preserve a good friendship!
I’ve done lots of small freebies for friends that unfortunately end up being large freebies.
I used to work in HR and helped with so many resumes I could have designed my own template. They are very time consuming and also take many hours of patience when it comes to formatting! I’ve stopped offering now (I was prone to saying “sure I can help you with a resume” before thinking about the time suck). I limit myself now to when someone asks me directly and even then I just give guidance and don’t end up spending hours elaborating on dot points and formatting the blasted thing.
Happy to write small snippets of copy or reviews or proofread a quick blog post, but anything more and we have to talk business – money, time frames, expectations.
In the reverse, if I ask a talented friend to help me with something (web design, photography, etc), I specify I will only engage their services if they charge me just like they charge any other client. That way, I know I can discuss any issues that may arise. Mates rates change the goal posts which makes confrontation difficult because it puts the job in “favour” territory.
If I have plenty of work, I usually bypass friend gigs – just to avoid the complicated mess if things don’t go to plan!