by Leo Wiles
15 July 2016
Today I bumped into a fellow freelancer who was smarting at having his regular gig being snatched from under him by a smug, know-it-all newbie. The interloper was relishing his new found status on social media, and engaging in an inappropriate and thoughtless public love-in with his new publisher.
My friend could not look away and, as the minutes turned into hours, his hackles continued to rise. Thankfully he was saved by his smartphone battery, which gave out before he committed public hari kari with his ‘ironic’ and completely insincere well wishes for the publisher, title and writer.
As most of us know, using feelings of anger and revenge as a motivator towards a better life only works in Kung Fu movies. For the rest of us, resentment that life is not going our way is like drinking a cup of poison and hoping our competitors/boss/lover/parents will die – in other words, completely bloody pointless.
Worse, it can make you ill or at the very least, a bitter and twisted bummer to be around. You’re also wasting valuable energy that could be propelling you towards the future you actually want. So here are my tips on the best way to move forward when the chips are down.
Get off Fakebook. Or any platform where you’re scoping out the competition and comparing your life to theirs. In reality, they still have to put out the garbage and sit down to poop (that is, when they’re not sipping champagne on their private jet).
See the loss as an opportunity. When you’re freelance, cultivating a positive-thinking mindest may sound all airy-fairy, but it’s hugely important to keep moving forward. You can start by making a list of things you’re grateful for and use that as your foundation for the day.
Get building. When you’re mad, you’re motivated. Now’s the time to revisit your networks, get in touch and let them know you suddenly have availability in your usually very busy schedule. A shiny new gig could be just around the corner. On that note…
Be smart about the work you take. When we’re in a financial funk, it can be easy to take any low-paying lifeline as a way to ‘work’. But it can be a one-way ticket to a terrible hourly rate and a job that can be hard to extricate yourself from when the good gigs come knocking.
Be mindful. As a rule of thumb, I always ask myself three crucial questions before taking on big projects: Is the timing right, Is the money right and most importantly, do I like the people I will be working for /with? If these three areas don’t add up, walk away.
Use your ‘spare’ time well. If you never seem to have a spare second to update your website or LinkedIn page, now’s the time to do it.
Take stock. God bless IKEA for their MÅLA drawing paper roll I can steal from the kids. A good list can make everything seem better. And, when things seem out of control in my life, I write down all my stress points, isolate how to solve them and then ask myself what I’ll do today to get me there.
Stop feeding the wolf. Okay, so this isn’t my cookie cutter wisdom, but this Cherokee parable makes a lot of sense about how our thoughts shape our reality. It goes like this: An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
How do you let go when things go wrong workwise?
